Fog Descending

Sometimes I don’t recognize myself. The person I thought I was has vanished. I no longer have the same feelings. I no longer have the same thoughts. I fall into an ocean of intellectual fog.  My mind wanders… just as the sound of the wolves howling outside my room. Hard rock suddenly makes perfet sense.

Can you tell me what is real? Cause I’ve lost my way again.

Can you tell me how to feel? Cause I don’t feel anything, now that I’m down here again… down with the fallen.

Many people tell me I’m special. That somehow this fog is something that the most intelligent people deal with. Is it really? Are these mental chains draped across my mind sokething that means I’m smart? Cause it doen’t feel that way.

I wander through the hallways of my life. Searching for a lost idea of who I could have been; of who I will be, and of who I am now. It doesn’t like me. I hear echos of it walking through my mind, like a great beast lurking… waiting for an unsuspecting eye to be cast upon it before it pounces and floods through my soul. Before it tears me. Makes me bleed. Brings out who I really am; the person who lies miles below my face.

Take away everything I am. I want to be me.

Who is this? It’s me. I. The one I truely am… searching through the halls of my being for the visage who pretends to be me for the benefit of others.

Save me, before I become my demons. Before that which I hate in others becomes who I am. Let me go. Let me soar up through the levels of my intellect, and see all that I am, all that I will be. Transform who I am into someone who is great. Who sees the unseen. Who knows the hidden.

“If you want to break free… you know where to find me.” Thus he says. Once again, I return to my wanderings. Ever searching for the voice who roams my mind… often tearing pieces of it apart.

I sometimes don’t recognize who I am… and it scares me.

Good thing she recognizes me no matter what form I take.